MTCR Newsletter Week 7

#RIP Color Rush

As expected, the Patriots rolled last week and made our #FREEMONEYLOCKOFTHEWEEK a winner! We are now riding a 4 game win streak and the Drive for Five features the Eagles vs Giants in a matchup of bad teams playing in the remnants of a gigantic hurricane…Unfortunately for the Giants, not even Color Rush Jerseys, rain/wind, and Saquon Barkley can help them tonight, because they are an absolute garbage football team.

PICK: Eagles -1

TALKING MAC

It makes me so angry that we still have to wait 2 weeks for #MACtion during the week while the #Funbelt has already started playing on Tuesdays, just taunting us. The MAC commissioner should be fired and replaced by me immediately.

 Akron +11 @ Buffalo: Kato Nelson Heisman watch has been postponed until further notice. Sorry for any inconvenience.

PICK: Buffalo -11

Ball State +3 @ CMU: CMU has looked ok recently so they are 100% going to come crashing back to earth soon.

PICK: Ball State +3

 Western Michigan -14.5 @ Bowling Green: Sometimes when I go bowling my hand turns green because my shoulder dislocates and no blood flows to it for several hours.

PICK: Western Michigan -14.5

 Ohio +4 @ Northern Illinois: Oh, what could have been. The teams we picked to square off in the MACtion title game are a combined 6-5 and have struggled all year. While both teams have been a letdown, the Fighting Franks could easily be 1-4 instead of 3-2, and for that reason, we are going with the Huskies.

PICK: Northern Illinois -4

 Toledo EVEN @ Eastern Michigan

Eastern Michigan has lost 3 games in a row by 3 points. They will break that streak against Toledo, as the Rockets should win by double digits.

PICK: Toledo -1.5

BIG TEN LOCKS OF THE WEEK

Nebraska +4 @ Northwestern

A great philosophizer once said “Before you can run, you must walk. Before you can win, you must cover.” Nebraska finally covered against Wisconsin, and now, after much deliberation, we have decided they are ready to win. Look out world, the sleeping giant has awoken and the Huskers are back!!!!!!

PICK: #FROSTWARNING +4.

Iowa -5 @ Indiana

I didn’t get to watch Iowa beat Minnesota last week but I almost passed out when I looked at my phone and saw this stat line from Nate Stanley: 23-39, 314 yards, 4 TDs. Then I saw their fake field goal and had a full-blown stroke. Kirk Ferentz has gone full RIVERBOAT Kirk mode, something we have not seen since the undefeated season of 2015. This is very bad news for the rest of the BIG 10 West.

PICK: Iowa -5

 PAC 12 AFTER DARK

Arizona +13.5 @ Utah (FRIDAY 9:00 PM CST)

Friday and Saturday #PAC12AfterDark this week, what a pleasant surprise! Utah is coming off of a huge upset of Stanford while Arizona seems to have figured out that Khalil Tate could be a Heisman candidate if you don’t try to turn him into a pocket passer. Rolling with the Wildcatz.

PICK: ARIZONA +13.5

Colorado +7.5 @ USC (9:30 PM CST)

Last week we predicted that Utah would pull the first #PAC12AfterDark upset of the year and they destroyed Stanford. This week, USC is a 7.5 point favorite against the undefeated Buffalo. Sure, Colorado might be overrated because the record of the teams they have beat is 5-22, but they also might be the greatest team ever assembled…who knows?? Ralphie might just run his way straight to the PAC 12 championship and the College Football Playoff.

PICK: COLORADO +7.5

 

 

 

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2018 Winter Olympics Gambling Recap

Time to see how our picks turned out…It was tough, as most people only watch these sports once every 4 years, but we still finished at .500 for our gold medal picks. On a personal note, the Newsletter was up $400 going into the women’s free skate. We put it all on Medvedeva and got screwed…more on that later though.

Most Gold Medals, Most Total Medals

PICKS:  Most Gold Medals: Norway   OVERALL TOTAL: USA

What Actually Happened: Holy Shit Norway. They killed everyone, in everything. They won the most medals, most golds, most silvers and most bronze medals. Total domination. As for the USA – this was an awful, embarrassing showing. If we didn’t dominate snowboarding I think we would have had to retire from the winter Olympics forever. So bad.

 Figure Skating MEN Friday, February 16th

PICK: Yuru Hanyu, Japan

What Actually Happened: Nathan Chen choked in the short program (duh) and Hanyu put on one of the most beautiful performances in figure skating history. You have to feel bad for Chen but the nerves clearly got to him. I can’t imagine he will be back in 4 years, but it is the USA and we stink at figure skating so nvm.

Figure Skating WOMEN, Thursday, February 22nd

PICK: Evgeniia Medvedeva, Olympic Athletes of Russia (Not actual Russia though?)

What Actually Happened: Medvedeva got SCREWED. She lost to that little 15-year-old Russian twerp who only gets high scores because she backloads her routines. What Medvedeva did in the free skate was breathtaking. She told a story, sucked you in. She is the best in the world and deserved to win. Very sad.

 

Ski Slopestyle MEN Saturday, February 16th

PICKS: GOLD: Henrick Harlout, Sweden SILVER: Gus Kenworthy, USA Bronze:Nick Goepper, USA

What Actually Happened: Harlout was forced to not smoke before the Olympics and failed miserably. Kenworthy had a broken hand…but hey, Nick Goepper took home silver!

Ski Halfpipe MEN, Wednesday, February 21st

PICKS: GOLD: David Wise, USA     SILVER: Noah Bowman, USA    BRONZE: Alex Ferreira, USA

What Actually Happened: David Wise won gold on his third and final run. Alex Ferreira finished second with a run that I think should have beaten Wise. It was a great contest with everyone going huge.

 Snowboard Slopestyle MEN Saturday, February 10th

PICKS: GOLD: Max Parrot, CAN   SILVER: Marc McMorris, CAN BRONZE:  Sebastion Toutant, CAN

What Actually Happened: A 17-year-old American showed up and ruined the sweep for Canada. It was incredible. Red Gerrard, American Hero. Parrot and McMorris finished 2nd and 3rd, so we were close.

Snowboard Halfpipe MEN, Tuesday, February 13th

PICKS: GOLD: Shaun White, USA   SILVER: Yuto Totsuka, JPN BRONZE: Ayumu Hirano JPN

What Actually Happened: Shaun White needed a perfect run to win the gold medal and guess what…He did it. The man is amazing and the scream he let out at the bottom of the halfpipe told you everything you needed to know about how much this meant to hi

Snowboard Halfpipe WOMEN Monday, February 12th

PICKS: GOLD: Chloe Kim, USA   SILVER: Maddie Mastro, USA BRONZE: Kelly Clark, USA

What Actually Happened: Chloe Kim won because she is still Sick AF Braj.

Giant Slalom and Regular? Slalom WOMEN. (Basically all of next week)

PICK: Mikaela Shiffrin, USA (Specifically Vail, Colorado. My second home, no big deal)

What Actually Happened: Shiffrin took home a Gold and Silver but didn’t even medal in her best event. Weird. Let’s blame it on the messed up schedules because that’s the only reason I can think of for why she lost.

Super G WOMEN

PICK: Sotia Goggia, Italy

What Actually Happened: Goggia won! Vonn did terrible! Sad day for the USA, great day for the Newsletter!

4-Men Bobsled Friday, February 23rd

PICK: GERMANY 2 – Nico Walther

What Actually Happened: Walther lost to his fellow countryman and took the silver. This sucks, but we knew Germany would dominate the bobsled and they did, we just picked the wrong driver.

 

2018 Winter Olympics Gambling Picks

Unpopular opinion: The Winter Olympics are the best. And, more specifically,  gambling on the Winter Olympics is the best. Here are some picks and previews for some of my favorite events in the games, and maybe we will win you some money.

Most Gold Medals, Most Total Medals

Norway is a powerhouse, look for them to win between 16-18 golds which is pretty much untouchable by anyone that isn’t Germany. I like the USA in the Total Medals race. The team is deep and I think they end up right around 30 total, hopefully, that’s enough.

PICKS:  Most Gold Medals: Norway   OVERALL TOTAL: USA

 Figure Skating MEN Friday, February 16th

The USA’s best ice dancer and Men’s Singles favorite, Nathan Chen, choked in the team competition before we even had the opening ceremonies! I didn’t like how shaky and unsure he looked on some of his bigger jumps, especially the quads…Quite frankly I am worried and I don’t think he can win. Also, is the ice in South Korea bad?? Something I will be watching very closely going forward.

PICK: Yuru Hanyu, Japan

Figure Skating WOMEN, Thursday, February 22nd

The Russians are banned from the Olympics but somehow ALL OF THE RUSSIAN ATHLETES ARE STILL COMPETING. The “Olympic Athletes of Russia” will dominate this event behind

Evgeniia Medvedeva (OMG what a name, is it getting a little hot in here?) With American Ashley Wagner missing the Olympics, I am ALL IN on Evgeniia Medvedeva.

PICK: Evgeniia Medvedeva, Olympic Athletes of Russia (Not actual Russia though?)

Ski Slopestyle MEN Saturday, February 16th

Henrick Harlaut of Sweden is the best skier on the planet. He took home the gold at the X-games and the only way he doesn’t win this event is if the judges deduct points for his weird style of skiing (very possible). I am also amazed that he passed the Olympic drug test.

PICKS: GOLD: Henrick Harlout, Sweden SILVER: Gus Kenworthy, USA Bronze: Nick Goepper, USA

 

 

 

 

 

Ski Halfpipe MEN, Wednesday, February 21st

If you are feeling bad about the current state of our great country, be sure to watch this event. 5 of the top 6 halfpipe skiers in the world are from the USA and it is almost guaranteed that we sweep the podium. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

PICKS: GOLD: David Wise, USA     SILVER: Noah Bowman, USA    BRONZE: Alex Ferreira, USA

 Snowboard Slopestyle MEN Saturday, February 10th

This will be dominated by Canada…Gross.

PICKS: GOLD: Max Parrot, CAN   SILVER: Marc McMorris, CAN BRONZE: Sebastion Toutant, CAN

Snowboard Halfpipe MEN, Tuesday, February 13th

Shaun White scored a perfect 100 in the last event before the Olympics…That’s pretty good!

PICKS: GOLD: Shaun White, USA   SILVER: Yuto Totsuka, JPN BRONZE: Ayumu Hirano JPN

Snowboard Halfpipe WOMEN Monday, February 12th

Another likely podium sweep for the USA. As my fellow snowboarders say, Chloe Kim is sick AF bra.

PICKS: GOLD: Chloe Kim, USA   SILVER: Maddie Mastro, USA BRONZE: Kelly Clark, USA

Giant Slalom and Regular? Slalom WOMEN. (Basically all of next week)

Maybe I am biased because I am in love with Mikaela Shiffrin but Mikaela Shiffrin is winning every event she’s in.

PICK: Mikaela Shiffrin, USA (Specifically Vail, Colorado. My second home, no big deal)

Super G WOMEN

The last Olympics for Lindsay Vonn?? Goggia took down Vonn by .02 last week, I’m taking the Italian Stallion again in South Korea.

PICK: Sotia Goggia, Italy

4-Men Bobsled Friday, February 23rd

Best event in the Olympics? No Jamaica again this year so Germany is going 1-2-3, only question is which of their teams wins gold?

PICK: GERMANY 2 – Nico Walther

PGA Tour Golf Cabinet

With one of the most brutal election cycles in US history currently taking place, a lot of people are searching for a viable third party candidate that they can vote for. People say that they don’t want life long politicians anymore, that they need new blood. I have taken it upon myself to give you the perfect candidate and I have put together his cabinet. So without further ado, your PGA Tour Presidential Golf Cabinet.

President – Patrick Reedpatrick-reedLadies and Gentleman, the 45th President of the United States of America – Patrick Reed! This is the only plausible choice after what happened during the Ryder Cup. Reed was born with an American flag in one hand, raised by bald eagles and loves nothing more than this country. He will be an outspoken president, shhhhhhhing any foreign leader that may try to shut him up or argue with him. He will not back down from any challenge and one up anyone that comes at him. He will have things his way and will return America to its status as the greatest country on the planet.

Vice President – Jordan Spieth150412204955-masters-spieth-super-169

Every president needs a calming influence, a best friend. Obama has Joe Biden, President Reed will have his Ryder Cup playing partner Jordan Spieth by his side during his entire presidency.Spieth and Reed get along well and have already proven to be a tough duo to deal with. While Reed brings fire, Spieth brings a more measured approach, thinking through every decision and weighing each and every possible outcome, exactly what President Reed will need.

 

Department of Treasury – Phil Mickelsonarticle-2603179-1d09ede400000578-291_634x413President Reed: “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? YOU PRINTED ONE TRILLION DOLLARS of NEW MONEY AND THEN LOST IT IN 10 MINUTES???”

Phil – “Well, you….I…I bet the Prime Minister of Malaysia that I could hit a flop shot over the Washington Monument…Damn near had it! Don’t worry, though, I got a call from a friend of a friend and we should have that money back in no time 😉 ;)”

President Reed: “Why the hell did I give you this job??”

Phil: “Because my task force told you that it was a good move.”

Secretary of Defense – Dustin Johnson112105231President Reed: “Secretary Johnson, the North Koreans have just launched a nuclear missile at California”

**DJ Tees up a golf ball, smashes it across the US and takes out the missile, hops back onto his boat where Paulina is waiting. **

Department of Justice – Bubba WatsonTOUR Championship By Coca-Cola - Round One

Someone always needs to be held accountable for the mistakes that are made in this country. Bubba is always ready to point the finger and blame someone else, this is the perfect position for him.

Department of Energy – Jim FurykJim Furyk

The man is always conserving energy, I am pretty sure he drinks 5-hour Energy just to keep his heart from stopping…now he just has to take this life approach and turn it into a plan for making our country energy independent…seems straightforward enough.

Department of Commerce – Tiger Woodsscreen_shot_2016-10-17_at_10-59-47_am-0

We need to create new jobs, add new businesses, grow the economy! And who better than a man that just started his own company, business, firm?? (I have no clue what TGR Ventures is…) This will give Tiger something to do while he continues to avoid the PGA Tour. Maybe he can create some new jobs in the field of science that focus of getting rid of the yips.

Department of Health and Human Services – John Dailyblogs-the-loop-blog-john-daly-0512.jpg

President Reed: “John, you cannot smoke while giving an anti-smoking speech, Jesus Christ!”

Daily: “You are such a fucking baby Patrick. Whatever.”

**Puts cigarette out on his arm, pulls out full bottle of Bourbon and begins to chug it**

The 2016 Royals are Dead (and that’s okay!)

After back to back World Series births and World Series title, the 2016 Kansas City Royals are officially dead (and that’s okay!). I was still holding out hope for another run to happen but when you get swept in a four-game series by the A’s and give up 44 runs….wellllllllllp

Coming into this season I had high expectations for the team. I knew that making the World Series three years in a row was unlikely but they had pulled off bigger surprises over the last two seasons, why would anyone doubt them coming into this season?

Unfortunately, they just didn’t have it this year, but who could blame them? The lockdown Robot Bullpen from the last two years ran into some technical difficulties with both Greg Holland and Luke Hochevar getting hurt. Ryan Madson, a surprise star in the pen signed a contract with Oakland before the season and was replaced by Joakim Soria, who has been an absolute disaster. Wade Davis has battled injuries all season long as well. It sucked seeing all of this playout, but what else did you expect? These guys all faced giant workloads over the last 2 seasons, carrying the team through the playoffs.

The injury bug also hit the rest of the team. Moustakas blew out his ACL going after a foul ball, Alex Gordon broke his wrist on the same play. Lorenzo Cain has battled a wrist injury for the last few months and is shut down for the year. Salvador Perez has had at least 14 concussions this season and I am sure I am forgetting some others.

The struggle has been real.

But not all news is bad. Yes, the team has had a disappointing season, but they have everyone back next year including Moustakas and hopefully a healthy Jason Vargas. With the arrival of Danny Duffy as a bonafide stud, the Royals rotation is close to being as good as what they had during their runs 2014 and 2015. Easy Ed should be gone, he has been a train wreck since the trade deadline and I can’t imagine the Royals will renew his contract.

The bullpen should improve again next year as well with Wade Davis and Kelvin Herrera both returning on the back end. There is also a chance Greg Holland returns and hopefully, Soria will get traded, I cannot see him being successful with KC.

It sucks that we are going to miss the playoffs this year, but in the long run in might be okay. Everyone will have an extra month to rest up and get healthy heading into next season which is must win. The Royals window is about close with most of the key players on the roster becoming free agents after next season. So let’s pack it up boys, go grab some golf clubs and enjoy the offseason. 2017 will be the year.

Finding Bigfoot: Season 7

 

FINDING BIGFOOT

 

The blog everyone has been waiting for….Finding Bigfoot: Season 7, the preview.

If you have somehow missed the first 6 seasons of Animal Planets *best show, I’ll go ahead and give you a full recap of what has happened so far.

Season 1: No Bigfoot.

Season 2: No Bigfoot.

Season 3: Bigfoot?!?!?!?!? Nope.

Season 4: We got it!!!! Nope, just kidding, it was just a moose walking in a lake.

Season 5: YES!!!!!!! Oh, wait, it is just a human footprint on the beach of a very popular creek. OUR BAD!!!

Season 6: WE PURCHASED A DRONE FOLKS, BIGFOOT HERE WE COME!!!….Ah just kidding, it was another  moose.

So there you have it. Basically, the show is centered around four people, three who believe in bigfoot and one who is just there to act surprised by different findings. It blows my mind that this show is still on TV. There is nothing to it, these people are ROBBING animal planet blind.

Here, let me tell you how every episode of Season 7 will go.

  1. Start by going to some random town in the middle of the woods and hold a town hall meeting.
  2. Listen to people tell their REAL LIFE STORIES of how they SAW BIGFOOT!
  3. The 4 hosts sit down together, discuss the stories and choose which are the most believable. A surprisingly large number of people have seen bigfoot, btw.
  4. Wait until it is dark, break into groups and head into woods.
  5. Bang a stick against a tree, wait patiently until they hear another bang in the distance. Very scientific.
  6. Think they hear something, freak out because “THERE IS A BIGFOOT COMMUNICATING WITH US.”Just kidding, it was the other group also banging wood against a tree.
  7. Bobo, the long-haired weirdo will make some strange grunting noise that is known to be the call of the bigfoot, because people have heard it! Nothing will come of it.
  8. Night ends, group meets up and discusses how they are sure this is the proper environment for a sasquatch and if they stayed long enough they would find one.
  9. Episode ends. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK *Preview shows a worried Bobo reacting to a sound in the distance.”

SEVEN SEASONS OF THIS. At one point they invested in a drone but every time they thought they saw something the battery would run out and they would have to bring it back.

I would also like to mention 90% of the show is shot in night vision, this is not annoying at all..nope.

I do not know why I watch this show, maybe it is because I think it is great that these 4 people have scammed Animal Planet for 7 years. I do not know any of their names except for Bobo, but I bet they all know bigfoot isn’t real. They are smart, though, why would you say that when you can collect a paycheck without doing anything?

Hey, Animal Planet, I have an idea for a show called “Finding the Chupacabra” and you should pay me to find it because I found this blurry picture on Google of it and it must be real!

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*Worst.

KC Royals Season Preview

The Kansas City Royals look to defend their 2015 World Series title this…wait, this doesn’t feel right. Lets try this again.

Please play while reading.

 

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! It finally happened. After 24 years on the earth I finally saw the Kansas City Royals win the World Series. No lie, I had not seen the Royals win a game in person until this year. I was like the god damn plague when I stepped in Kauffman Stadiun, 0-14 when I was there…Oh and fourteen!

Finally though, after years of pain and suffering, I went on my birthday and they won…From that moment I knew there was nothing that could stop the Royals train. I was so confident that my curse was broken that I hopped on a tiny prop plane to get to game 5 of the ALDS. I almost died, but anything for the Roys.

So, what do they do for an encore? In 2014 they lost in the World Series to the Giants, this was understandable because the Giants win the World Series every even numbered year. That is a fact, look it up.

Last year they came back and had one of the most fun baseball seasons that I have ever witnessed. The team refused to die, absolutely demoralizing their opponents as they beat them with dinks, flares, bunts, and stolen bases.

The comeback kids winning the World Series with clutch hitting and a bullpen full of robots. So what are the expectations for this years team?

Outfield

This off season was not all roses for Royals fans. We constantly lived in fear that we would check twitter and it would say Alex Gordon has signed with the New York Yankees or Chicago Cubs for 1 billion dollars. No one thought he would be back. And then it happened…The best left fielder in the damn game decides to come back home. I think this is probably the biggest signing of the off season. Gordon is the glue that holds this team together. They force the minor league teams to watch videos on how he warms up so they know how hard you have to work to make it. Everyone loves him. Perfect signing.

Center field will once again be patrolled by Lorenzo Cain. This outfield is so dirty. Cain had another great year at the plate, ending up 3rd in the AL MVP rankings. He should have a gold glove by now but people are stupid. Pretty crazy though for a guy who didn’t play baseball growing up.

Right field will be a mix of Jarrod Dyson and Paulo Orlando (No more Alex Rios..yay!) Dyson gives KC its best defensive unit, and his speed is something you like to have in the lineup. Paulo swings as hard as he can and is always a threat to hit one 600 feet. Both should get a shot to play a lot this year. This outfield is going to once again be one of the best in the majors and will have to be great defensively if they want to make it to the WS again.

Infield

The Royals will have the same infield as last year (pre Zobrist) to start the season. If Moose continues to go the opposite way and Hosmer can find a way to cut his massive slumps even in half, this should be another strength. The only weakness is Omar Infante who has proven that he cant hit his way out of a wet paper bag. He is currently hurt so Christian Colon will get a shot in spring training, hopefully he makes the most of it.

Also, can we give Salvador a few games off?? It would be nice if we could get to the end of the season and have a catcher that wasn’t crippled from catching 160 games.

Morales  returns at DH. He was a monster last year and was everything that Billy Butler was not. Not a lot of people were excited when he was signed before last season, me included, but this turned out to be a great signing.

Starting Pitching

John Cueto is gone and in his place we have…IAN KENNEDY!!! Not a flashy signing but  he could be a great fit for Kauffman Stadium. Hopefully he will stop giving up so many god damn dingers with a bigger park. He will also enjoy having an outfield that doesn’t have Justin Upton and Wil Myers (I still love you, come back to KC).

Yordano Ventura will again be the “ace” but he is so up and down that you never know what you will get from him pitching wise. You do know that he will probably start at least three fights this year however so at least we have some consistency somewhere.

Volquez / Medlen are the other two guys that will be in the rotation for sure. Volquez will be a lot of the same as last year which is fine. Medlen is the wild card. If his arm gets back to 100% and he pitches like he did for the Braves give us the trophy now.  The chances of that happening are like…..5% though so don’t get your hopes up. Even if he doesn’t get all the way back, he was very good at times last year, again just needs to be consistent.

The last spot will be a mix of Duffy and Young or a younger guy. Both of these guys will probably go back and forth between starting and the bullpen. Duffy throws 100, young throws 60. It is a beautiful thing.

Robot Bullpen

The Royals lost their closer Greg Holland last year. They somehow got better. Wade Davis stepped in and has established himself as one of the top three relievers in baseball. Kelvin Herrera continues to throw 100+ with a gross change up and Luke Hochevar returned from Tommy John to be the most reliable reliever besides Davis in the playoffs.

Ryan Madson is gone, he was great during the regular season but turned into a dinger machine in the playoffs. So who replaces him? None other than the Mexicutioner himself, Joakim Soria. BOOM. The robot bullpen is still full strength. If a starter can get through 5-6 innings with a lead the game is pretty much over. That is a great feeling.

Wishes

I was really hoping the Royals would resign Zobrist but that was always a long shot. He gave me false hope when he named his newborn Royal or whatever…such a tease. Besides that I think the Royals had a pretty good off season.

Prediction

Royals finish 92-70, win the AL Central, beat the Astros in the ALDS again and lose in the ALCS, probably to Toronto. I think they can win the World Series but it is really hard to make it to three in a row.